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You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
People
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Threatening
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Thinking

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.
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NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.
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We want to take action out of the desire to contribute to life rather than out of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation.
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As soon as you say, are you feeling X because I ... Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are this divine energy. It's not something we have to attain. We just have to realize it, to be present to it.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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You're going to lose it when you follow the world feel with the words because I think. Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word think with the word you. I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg