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You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As soon as you say, are you feeling X because I ... Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.
Marshall B. Rosenberg