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You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Threatening
Hear
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Also, think about your intentionality - are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don't want to do the mechanics without the consciousness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
Marshall B. Rosenberg