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Some people use NVC to respond compassionately to themselves, some to create greater depth in their personal relationships, and still others to build effective relationships at work or in the political arena. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.
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We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
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With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.
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We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
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With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.
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Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
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Don't hate the circumstance, you may miss the blessing
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Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A need is life seeking expression within us.
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With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
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Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.
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