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The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As soon as you say, are you feeling X because I ... Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
Marshall B. Rosenberg