Quote

If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Communication
Reason
Firsts
Questions
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Request
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Punishment
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Nonviolent Communication is a way of keeping our consciousness tuned in moment by moment to that beauty within ourselves and others, and not saying anything that we think might in any way tarnish people's consciousness of their own beauty.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A need is life seeking expression within us.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We give empathy to others for our own benefit.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.
Marshall B. Rosenberg