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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
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Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.
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NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
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They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.
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Teacher, school administrators and parents will come away from Life-Enriching Education with skills in language, communication, and ways of structuring the learning environment that support the development of autonomy and interdependence in the classroom.
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The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.
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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
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I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
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Nonviolent Communication is a way of keeping our consciousness tuned in moment by moment to that beauty within ourselves and others, and not saying anything that we think might in any way tarnish people's consciousness of their own beauty.
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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
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We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
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NVC self-forgiveness: connecting with the need we were trying to meet when we took the action that we now regret.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are responsible for what we hear other people say and for how we act.
Marshall B. Rosenberg