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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
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We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
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My ultimate goal is to spend as many of my moments in life as I can in that world that the poet Rumi talks about, 'a place beyond rightness and wrongness.
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Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
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When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
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Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
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I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.
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By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
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We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.
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