Quote

Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Demand
Oriented
Responsibility
Comparison
Four
Denial
Language
Analysis
Criticism
Communication
Deserve
Disconnection
Judgment
Diagnosis

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We recognize that real educational reform is essential if today's and tomorrow's children are to live in a more peaceful, just, and sustainable world.
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
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Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
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Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.
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People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
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Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
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