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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Among
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Insult
People
Communicate
Otherwise
Distance
Communication

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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Every moment each human being is doing the best we know at that moment to meet our needs. We never do anything that is not in the service of a need, there is no conflict on our planet at the level of needs. We all have the same needs. The problem is in strategies for meeting the needs.
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
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You're going to lose it when you follow the world feel with the words because I think. Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word think with the word you. I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
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Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
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As long as I think I 'should' do it, I'll resist it, even if I want very much to do it.
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Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.
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When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
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We are designed for Giving
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.
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Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
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