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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Healing

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Learning is too precious to be motivated by coercive tactics.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Violence comes from the belief that other people cause our pain and therefore deserve punishment.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A respectful understanding of another's experience.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Never connect yourself with the other person's pain. Just hear their need. Leave yourself out of the other person's feelings and needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
Marshall B. Rosenberg