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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Healing

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Teacher, school administrators and parents will come away from Life-Enriching Education with skills in language, communication, and ways of structuring the learning environment that support the development of autonomy and interdependence in the classroom.
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Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
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NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
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We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Classifying and judging people promotes violence.
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When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
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Interpretations, criticisms, diagnoses, and judgments of others are actually alienated expressions of our unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NO is always a YES to something else.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Also, think about your intentionality - are you getting lost in the method? or coming from the intentionality, the purpose? You don't want to do the mechanics without the consciousness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg