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In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Communication
Wants
Culture
Needs
Discount
Discounts
Trained
Ignore

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Empathy: Emptying our mind and listening with our whole being
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Needs are the expression of life through us.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Anger can be a wonderful wake up call to help you understand what you need and what you value.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Empathy lies in our ability to be present without opinion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg