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The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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What bores the listener bores the speaker too.
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NO is always a YES to something else.
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
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It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.
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Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.
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The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
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I have tried to integrate the spirituality into the training in a way that meets my need not to destroy the beauty of it through abstract philosophizing.
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
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The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
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Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.
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Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
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The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.
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Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
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If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
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If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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