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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Judging

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Clinical training in psychoanalysis has a deficit. It teaches how to sit and think about what a person is saying and how to interpret it intellectually, but not how to be fully present to this person.
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You're going to lose it when you follow the world feel with the words because I think. Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word think with the word you. I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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NO is always a YES to something else.
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We only feel dehumanized when we get trapped in the derogatory images of other people or thoughts of wrongness about ourselves.
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Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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My anger tells me firstly that there's a need of mine that's not getting met.
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Time and again, people transcend the paralyzing effects of psychological pain when they have sufficient contact with someone who can hear them empathically.
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
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Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.
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All people ever say is: THANK YOU (a celebration of life) and PLEASE (an opportunity to make life more wonderful).
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We are designed for Giving
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Self-empathy in NVC means checking in with your own feelings and needs.
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The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
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Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.
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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
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