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What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Others
May
Never
Stimulus
Communication
Cause
Causes
Feelings

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
Marshall B. Rosenberg