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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC is a reminder to focus our attention where we are most likely to get our needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Miracles can happen when we can keep our consciousness away from analyzing and classifying one another.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we express our needs indirectly through the use of evaluations, interpretations, and images, others are likely to hear criticism. When people hear anything that sounds like criticism, they tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack. It's important that when we address somebody that we're clear what we want back.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
Marshall B. Rosenberg