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Avoid 'shoulding' on others and yourself!

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Others
Avoid
Communication

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Four D's of Disconnection: 1. Diagnosis (judgment, analysis, criticism, comparison) 2. Denial of Responsibility 3. Demand 4. 'Deserve' oriented language.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We are compassionate with ourselves when we are able to embrace all parts of ourselves and recognize the needs and values expressed by each part.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Punishment is the root of violence on our planet.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Everything we do is in service of our needs. When this one concept is applied to our view of others, we'll see that we have no real enemies, that what others do to us is the best possible thing they know to do to get their needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I believe that the most joyful and intrinsic motivation human beings have for taking any action is the desire to meet our needs and the needs of others.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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By maintaining our attention on what's going on within others, we offer them a chance to fully explore and express their interior selves. We would stem this flow if we were to shift attention too quickly either to their request or to our own desire to express ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most important use of NVC may be in developing self-compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The only time a message (label) can scare us is if we think there is such a thing, and that such a thing is a disgrace.
Marshall B. Rosenberg