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To be able to hear our own feelings and needs and to empathize with them can free us from depression.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
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Never hear what a jackal-speaking person thinks, especially what they think about you.
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What bores the listener bores the speaker too.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
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If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
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Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
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How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
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Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
You'll find people less threatening if you hear what they're needing rather than what they're thinking about you.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we are in contact with our feelings and needs, we humans no longer make good slaves and underlings.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
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The number one reason that we don't get our needs met, we don't express them. We express judgments. If we do express needs, the number two reasons we don't our needs met, we don't make clear requests.
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We give empathy to others for our own benefit.
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When we judge others we contribute to violence.
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Whether I praise or criticize someone's action, I imply that I am their judge, that I'm engaged in rating them or what they have done.
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg