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Empathizing with someone's 'no' protects us from taking it personally.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.
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Instead of playing the game Making Life Wonderful, we often play the game called Who's Right. Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.
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If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
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If we want to make meetings productive, we need to keep track of those whose requests are on the table.
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In our culture, most of us have been trained to ignore our own wants and to discount our needs.
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In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
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Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
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There are the two main reasons we don't get our needs met. First, we don't know how to express our needs to begin with and second if we do, we forget to put a clear request after it, or we use vague words like appreciate, listen, recognize, know, be real, and stuff like that.
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Staying with empathy we allow speakers to touch deeper levels of themselves.
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Needs are the expression of life through us.
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In a Giraffe institution, the head nurse job would be to serve the nurses, not to control them. Teachers are there to serve the students, not control them.
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
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The number one rule of our training is empathy before education.
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Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.
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It's harder to empathize with those who appear to possess more power, status, or resources.
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As soon as you say, are you feeling X because I ... Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If the other persons behavior is not in harmony with my own needs, the more I empathize with them and their needs, the more likely I am to get me own needs met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg