Quote

We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Take
Unable
Giving
Scream
Needs
Empathy
Time
Breathe
Stop
Sense
Give
Empathize
Need
Defensive

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
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Criticism, analysis, and insults are tragic expressions of unmet needs.
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With every choice you make, be conscious of what need it serves.
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When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
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Labeling and diagnosis is a catastrophic way to communicate. Telling other people what's wrong with them greatly reduces, almost to zero, the probability that we're going to get what we're after.
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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
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Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.
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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.
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Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Empathy gives you the ability to enjoy another person's pain.
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We can never make anyone do anything against their will without enormous consequences.
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Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
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We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
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Understanding the other persons' needs does not mean you have to give up on your own needs.
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Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
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NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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If you are a jackal, you will try to reassure. Jackals try to fix people in pain. They can't stand pain, but make matters worse by trying to get rid of it. Put on giraffe ears. Try to hear what they are feeling and needing.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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As soon as you say, are you feeling X because I ... Then the Jackal starts to salivate because he can educate the person that he's the cause of his pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg