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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC suggests behind every action, however ineffective, tragic, violent, or abhorrent to us, is an attempt to meet a need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
To practice NVC, it's critical for me to be able to slow down, take my time, to come from an energy I choose, the one I believe that we were meant to come from, not the one I was programmed into.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We're not taught to think in terms of needs. We don't make nice dead people when we're in touch with needs. Domination structures cannot maintain themselves when citizens are educated to be alive.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Fix-it jackals can't wait to fix it, because they don't know how to enjoy pain. And until you learn how to enjoy pain, you can't enjoy intimacy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
I don't think you can have an authentic connection when one person is diagnosing the other.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Life-Enriching Education: an education that prepares children to learn throughout their lives, relate well to others, and themselves, be creative, flexible, and venturesome, and have empathy not only for their immediate kin but for all of humankind.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Our goal is to create a quality of empathic connection that allows everyone's needs to be met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.
Marshall B. Rosenberg