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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg
Our survival as a species depends on our ability to recognize that our well-being and the well-being of others are in fact one and the same.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Imagine connecting with the human spirit in each person in any situation at any time. Imagine interacting with others in a way that allows everyone's need to be equally valued. Imagine creating organizations and life-serving systems responsive to our needs and the needs of our environment.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Once you have access to key people in an organization, if you go into a meeting with enemy images of those people - then you are not going to connect.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
How I choose to look at any situation will greatly affect whether I have the power to change it or make matters worse.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Compliments and praise, for their part, are tragic expressions of fulfilled needs
Marshall B. Rosenberg
If we ask two questions, we will see that punishment never works. First: What do we want the other person to do? Second: What do we want the other person's reasons to be for doing as we request?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
You're going to lose it when you follow the world feel with the words because I think. Any time you are thinking, your chance of getting what you need is greatly decreased, especially when you follow the word think with the word you. I predict you won't only not get heard, but I predict a defensive aggressive reaction.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
If people just asked: Here are the needs of both sides, here are the resources. What can be done to meet these needs? the conflict would be easy to resolve.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
The punitive use of force tends to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
What bores the listener bores the speaker too.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Use anger as a wake-up call to unmet needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Regardless of our many differences, we all have the same needs. What differs is the strategy for fulfilling these needs.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
Plans to exact retribution are never going to make us safer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
People heal from their pain when they have an authentic connection with another human being.
Marshall B. Rosenberg