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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Judging
Compassion
Needed
Diagnosing
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Clarifying
Rather
Observed
Felt
Spirituality
Discover
Depth

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I never have to worry about another person's response, only how I react to what they say.
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A respectful understanding of another's experience.
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We want people to change because they see better ways of meeting their needs at less cost, not because of fear that we're going to punish them, or 'guilt' them if they don't. This applies to ourselves as well.
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
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When we judge others we contribute to violence.
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Enemy images are the main reason conflicts don't get resolved.
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We need empathy to give empathy. When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.
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People have been trained to criticize, insult, and otherwise communicate in ways that create distance among people.
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The first step in healing is to put the focus on what's alive now, not what happened in the past.
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As radical as it may seem, it is possible to do things only out of play. I believe that to the degree that we engage moment by moment in the playfulness of enriching life- motivated solely by the desire for its enrichment- to that degree are we being compassionate with ourselves.
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With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.
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Don't get addicted to your requests. Your objective is needs, not requests. Because then it becomes a demand.
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We use NVC to evaluate ourselves in ways that engender growth rather than self-hatred.
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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When we are angry, killing people is too superficial.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
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All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
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We need empathy to give empathy.
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Expressing our vulnerability can help resolve conflicts.
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Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
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