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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
Discover
Depth
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Spirituality

More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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All that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries about consciousness, language, communication skills, and use of power that enable us to maintain a perspective of empathy for ourselves and others, even under trying conditions.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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The most dangerous of all behaviors may consist of doing things 'because we're supposed to.
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When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
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Anger is a signal that you're distracted by judgmental or punitive thinking, and that some precious need of yours is being ignored.
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Praise and reward create a system of extrinsic motivations for behavior. Children (and adults) end up taking action in order to receive the praise or rewards.
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Judgments of others contribute to self-fulfilling prophecies.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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It may be most difficult to empathize with those we are closest to.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When people hear needs, it provokes compassion. When people hear diagnoses, it provokes defensiveness and attack.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for feelings and needs - we can see that people who seem like monsters are simply human beings whose language and behavior sometimes keep us from seeing their humanness.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With empathy we don't direct, we follow. Don't just do something, be there.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Instead of playing the game Making Life Wonderful, we often play the game called Who's Right. Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.
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I try never to hear what another person thinks of me. I enjoy life a lot more when I spend as little time as possible hearing or thinking about what other people think about me. I go to the needs behind the thoughts. Then I'm in a different world.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Children need far more than basic skills in reading, writing, and math, as important as those might be. Children also need to learn how to think for themselves, how to find meaning in what they learn, and how to work and live together.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I think that there is a problem with rewards and consequences because in the long run, they rarely work in the ways we hope. In fact, they are likely to backfire.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Intellectual understanding blocks empathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Fear of corporal punishment obscures children's awareness of the compassion underlying the parent's demands.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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What others do may be the stimulus of our feelings, but never the cause.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Any time you throw pain at a Jackal without a clear present request, within a millisecond he'll jump in.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our natural compassion to flourish.
Marshall B. Rosenberg