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It's never what people do that makes us angry it's what we tell ourselves about what they did.

Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Marshall B. Rosenberg
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More quotes by Marshall B. Rosenberg

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Instead of playing the game Making Life Wonderful, we often play the game called Who's Right. Do you know that game? It's a game where everybody loses.
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I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want. I developed NVC as a way to train my attention-to shine the light of consciousness-on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
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NVC requires us to be continually conscious of the beauty within ourselves and other people.
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Remember that whatever anyone does, it is an effort to meet a need.
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Getting in touch with unmet needs is important to the healing process.
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We are designed for Giving
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Punishment also includes judgmental labeling and the withholding of privileges.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Get very clear about the kind of world we would like and then start living that way.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Two things distinguish nonviolent actions from violent actions. First, you don't see an enemy and second, your intention is not to make the other side suffer.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Blaming and punishing others are superficial expressions of anger.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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I wouldn't expect someone who's been injured to hear my side until they felt that I had fully understood the depth of their pain.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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With empathy, I'm fully with them, not full of them — that's sympathy.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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They have most likely said it because they have an unmet need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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A respectful understanding of another's experience.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Not getting our needs fulfilled is painful - but it's a sweet pain, not suffering, which is what comes from life-alienated thinking and interpretation.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Upset? Ask yourself what this person does that is a trigger for judging them?
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we listen for their feelings and needs, we no longer see people as monsters.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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Focusing on the unmet need (not the judgment) is more likely to get the need met.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When I am angry I have a judgment and an unmet need.
Marshall B. Rosenberg
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When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Marshall B. Rosenberg