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No one ever really gets used to nightmares.

Mark Z. Danielewski

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Mark Z. Danielewski
Age: 58
Born: 1966
Born: March 5
Author
Novelist
Prosaist
Writer
New York City
New York
Nightmare
Gets
Used
Ever
Really
Nightmares

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I do not know anything about Art with a capital A. What I do know about is my art. Because it concerns me. I do not speak for others. So I do not speak for things which profess to speak for others. My art, however, speaks for me. It lights my way.
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Literature is capable of being a subject that people want to catch up on or discuss, whether at a coffee shop or a watercooler. It can become an intrinsic part of their dialogue.
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Here then at long last is my darkness. No cry of light, no glimmer, not even the faintest shard of hope to break free across the hold.
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I think that's what finally stopped me. I slid right to the edge. My legs were hanging over. And I could feel it too. I don't know how. There was no wind, no sound, no change of temperature. There was just this terrible emptiness reaching up for me.
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Back on shore everyone was pretty messed up, but the owner/captain was by far the worst off. He ended up drunk for a week, though the only thing he ever said was So? The boat's gone. So? Your mate's dead. So? Hey at least you're alive. So? An awful word but it does harden you. It hardened me.
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Maybe you saw her first? Caught a glimpse between the lines, between the letters, like a ghost in the mirror, a ghost in the wings?
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I'm not independently wealthy.
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I will walk heavy, and I will walk strange.
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My hands resemble some ancient tree: the roots that bind up the earth, the rock and the ceaselessly nibbling wordms.
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Through all the windows I only see infinity.
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So often I wonder whether it is my right to capitalize, as I feel, so often, on the grief of others. But then I justify, in my own particular thoughts, by feeling that I can contribute a little to the understanding of what others are going through then there is reason for doing it.
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Tom gets by, Navidson succeeds. Tom just wants to be, Navidson must become. And yet despite such obvious differences, anyone who looks past Tom's wide grin and considers his eyes will find surprisingly deep pools of sorrow. Which is how we know they are brothers, because like Tom, Navidson's eyes share the same water.
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I want something else. I'm not even sure what to call it anymore except I know it feels roomy and it's drenched in sunlight and it's weightless and I know it's not cheap. Probably not even real
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Youth always tries to fill the void, an old man learns to live with it.
Mark Z. Danielewski
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Maturity, one discovers, has everything to do with the acceptance of ‘not knowing.
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I still get nightmares. In fact, I get them so often I should be used to them by now. I'm not. No one ever really gets used to nightmares.
Mark Z. Danielewski
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...life's big. If you can't fix it, give it a spin.
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Here then - the after math of meaning. A liftime finished between the space of two frames.
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Anger is one way to respond to fear. I say one way because responses are categorically multiple.
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Come morning I found the day as I have found every other day--without relief or explanation.
Mark Z. Danielewski