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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Gnaw
Digest
Towards
Divine
Human
Humans

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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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The more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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A man who carries a cat by the tail is getting experience that will always be helpful. He isn't likely to grow dim or doubtful. Chances are, he isn't likely to carry the cat that way again, either. But if he wants to, I say let him!
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress but I repeat myself.
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The Bible is a wonderful book you can prove anything you want with it.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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School gets in the way of my learning.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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