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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sends
Cures
Doctor
Bill
Bills
Doctors
More quotes by Mark Twain
I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
Mark Twain
Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
Mark Twain
It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, Put not all thine eggs in the one basket - which is but a matter of saying, Scatter your money and your attention but the wise man saith, Pull all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET. - Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
Mark Twain
The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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I couldn't bear to think about it and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.
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Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificant by and by.
Mark Twain
The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
Mark Twain
We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
Mark Twain
When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
Mark Twain
A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
Mark Twain
