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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Kings
Use
Persons
People
Possessive
Newspaper
Editors
Newspapers

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Learn from the mistakes of others - you won't live long enough to make them all yourself. He's opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer him the position.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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Nothing is so ignorant as a man's left hand, except a lady's watch.
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Sometimes people do get hurt
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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He had only one vanity he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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Not a single right is indestructible: a new might can at any time abolish it, hence, man possesses not a single permanent right. God is Might (and He is shifty, malicious, and uncertain).
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We must put up with clothes as they are they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us to advertise what we wear them to conceal.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
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There ain't nothing more to write about and I'm rotten glad of it, because if I'd know'd what trouble it was to make a book, I wouldn't a tackled it.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
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