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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Every
Breaks
People
Shown
Acts
Bible
Million
None
Adultery
Millions
Respects
Break
Statues

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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all.
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There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery of it.
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity to get familiar with it.
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The thing for us to do is just to do our duty, and not worry about whether anybody sees us do it or not.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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The laws of Nature take precedence of all human laws. The purpose of all human laws is one - to defeat the laws of Nature. This is the case among all the nations, both civilized and savage. It is a grotesquerie, but when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
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