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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Shown
Acts
Bible
Million
None
Adultery
Millions
Respects
Break
Statues
Every
Breaks

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Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession. You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy officials have gone by.
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To be, or not to be that is the bare bodkin That makes calamity of so long life.
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.
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The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the procession-and take the credit of the correction.
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It is best to read the weather forecast before praying for rain.
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When one's character begins to fall under suspicion and disfavor, how swift, then, is the work of disintegration and destruction.
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Humor is the good natured side of a truth.
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It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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