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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Bible
Million
None
Adultery
Millions
Respects
Break
Statues
Every
Breaks
People
Shown
Acts

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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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America cannot have an empire abroad and a Republic at home.
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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.
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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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