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These people´s God has shown them by a million acts that he respects none of the Bible´s statues. He breaks every one of them himself, adultery and all.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Acts
Bible
Million
None
Adultery
Millions
Respects
Break
Statues
Every
Breaks
People
Shown

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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else... I will offer here, as a sound maxim, this: That we can't reach old age by another man's road.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.
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The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That awful power, the public opinion of a nation, is created in America by a horde of ignorant, self-complacent simpletons who failed at ditching and shoemaking and fetched up in journalism on their way to the poorhouse.
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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If you need help identifying actionable analytics check out this post.
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it.
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Good wine needs no bush a jug is the thing.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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Cats are the wildest of the tame and the tamest of the wild
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