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Human Beings are the only animals that blush, or need to.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Needs
Blush
Animals
Beings
Animal
Human
Humans
Need

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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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When I take up one of Jane Austen's books ... I feel like a barkeep entering the kingdom of heaven. I know what his sensation would be and his private comments. He would not find the place to his taste, and he would probably say so.
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache and what is more, I never intend to have it.
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You may have noticed that the less I know about a subject the more confidence I have, and the more new light I throw on it.
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
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I cannot call to mind a single instance where I have ever been irreverent, except toward the things which were sacred to other people.
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That's the difference between governments and individuals. Governments don't care, individuals do.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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