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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Sounds
Mouths
Sound
Woman
Slang
Obscene
Mouth

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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so it is the sickening grammar that they use.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Bridgeport? Said I. Camelot, Said he.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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The only people who should use the possessive 'we' are kings, newspaper editors, and persons with tapeworms.
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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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The best cure for Christianity is reading the Bible.
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We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
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It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that.
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Start it at no particular time of your life wander at your free will all over your life talk only about the thing which interests you for the moment drop it the moment its interest threatens to pale.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.
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Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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My books are like water those of the great geniuses are wine. (Fortunately) everybody drinks water.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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