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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Slang
Obscene
Mouth
Sounds
Mouths
Sound
Woman

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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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The human race consists of the damned and the ought-to-be damned.
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You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.
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Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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The cayote is a living, breathing allegory of Want. He is always hungry. He is always poor, out of luck and friendless. The meanest creatures despise him, and even the fleas would desert him for a velocipede.
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for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous.
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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