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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Woman
Slang
Obscene
Mouth
Sounds
Mouths
Sound

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... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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More than once I had seen a noble who had gotten his enemy at a disadvantage stop to pray before cutting his throat.
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
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France has usually been governed by prostitutes
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Nothing spoils a good story like the arrival of an eyewitness.
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene
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Make your vacation your vocation.
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We have the best government that money can buy.
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Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.
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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.
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