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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Given
Ever
Amen
Play
Playwright
Writing
Ems
Time
Cards
Seen
Chance
Write

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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The weakest of all weak things is a virtue that has not been tested in the fire.
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A crime persevered in a thousand centuries ceases to be a crime, and becomes a virtue. This is the law of custom, and custom supersedes all other forms of law.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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But death was sweet, death was gentle, death was kind death healed the bruised spirit and the broken heart, and gave them rest and forgetfulness death was man’s best friend when man could endure life no longer, death came and set him free.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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Homely truth is unpalatable.
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In literature imitations do not imitate.
Mark Twain
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Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
Mark Twain
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Honor is a harder master than the law.
Mark Twain
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
Mark Twain
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All men are ignorant, just on different subjects.
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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
Mark Twain