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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Cards
Seen
Chance
Write
Given
Ever
Amen
Play
Playwright
Writing
Ems

More quotes by Mark Twain

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I don't mind what the opposition say of me so long as they don't tell the truth about me. But when they descend to telling the truth about me I consider that this is taking an unfair advantage.
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
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The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires.
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
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If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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Methuselah lived to be 969 years old . You boys and girls will see more in the next fifty years than Methuselah saw in his whole lifetime.
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows
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