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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Cards
Seen
Chance
Write
Given
Ever
Amen
Play
Playwright
Writing
Ems

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The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
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I was dead for millions of years before I was born and it never inconvenienced me a bit.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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What a world of trouble those who never marry escape! There are many happy matches, it is true, and sometimes my dear, and my love come from the heart but what sensible bachelor, rejoicing in his freedom and years of discretion, will run the tremendous risk?
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It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.
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It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground.
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A tax is a fine for doing well, a fine is a tax for doing wrong.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
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We write frankly and freely, but then we modify before we print.
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Shall we go on conferring our Civilization upon the peoples that sit in darkness, or shall we give those poor things a rest?
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