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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Grow
Grows
Politics
Speak
Enough
Inquired
Never
Natures
Men
Nationality
Large

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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist.
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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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My sister...was an interested and zealous invalid during sixty-five years, tried all the new diseases as fast as they came out, and always enjoyed the newest one more than any that went before my brother had accumulated forty-two brands of Christianity before he was called away.
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I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie I can, but I won't.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
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Benaras is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together!
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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Progressive improvement beats delayed perfection.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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