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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thing
Gamblers
Fools
Crucial
Rewards
Fool
Knowing
Winning

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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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He was such a good man that people hated to see him coming.
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Change is the handmaiden Nature requires to do her miracles with.
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The piano may do for love-sick girls who lace themselves to skeletons, and lunch on chalk, pickles and slate pencils, but give me the banjo.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
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When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.
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...nothing so liberalizes a man and expands the kindly instincts that nature put in him as travel and contact with many kinds of people.
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God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention.
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It must be well-nigh a maximum of sense to behave so that one escapes being hanged.
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I ordinarily smoke fifteen cigars during my five hours' labours, and if my interest reaches the enthusiastic point, I smoke more. I smoke with all my might, and allow no intervals.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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It is impossible that a genius - at least a literary genius - can ever be discovered by his intimates they are so close to him that he is out of focus to them and they can't get at his proportions they can't perceive that there is any considerable difference between his bulk and their own.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
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