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The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture he will never get a set which can really be depended on 'till a dentist makes him one.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Animal
Cruel
Pain
Torture
Makes
Till
Teeth
Without
Animals
Really
Months
Depended
Never
Gets
Inconvenience
Men
Higher
Dentist

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No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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Your road is everything that a road ought to be...and yet you will not stay in it half a mile, for the reason that little, seductive, mysterious roads are always branching out from it on either hand, and as these curve sharply also and hide what is beyond, you cannot resist the temptation to desert your own chosen path and explore them.
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A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
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We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth.
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Some of us cannot be optimists, but all of us can be bigamists
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I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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Homely truth is unpalatable.
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