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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Enough
Undertaker
Excite
Ill
Able
Wells
Well

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
Mark Twain
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I don't speak German well but several experts have assured me that I write it like an angel. Maybe so, maybe so- I don't know. I've not yet made any acquaintances among the angels. That comes later, whenever it please the Deity. I'm not in any hurry.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one?
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God cures and the doctor sends the bill.
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.
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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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The universal brotherhood of man is our most precious possession.
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Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
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Where a blood relation sobs, an intimate friend should choke up, a distant acquaintance should sigh, a stranger should merely fumble sympathetically with his handkerchief.
Mark Twain
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
Mark Twain
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
Mark Twain
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Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community, and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
Mark Twain
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain