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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Undertaker
Excite
Ill
Able
Wells
Well
Enough

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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Doesn't make any difference who we are or what we are, there's always somebody to look down on.
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Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.
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It is better to support schools than jails.
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If horses knew their strength we should not ride anymore.
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Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a parrot
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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