Quote

I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Undertaker
Excite
Ill
Able
Wells
Well
Enough

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark Twain
Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.
Mark Twain
Image
Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Mark Twain
Image
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
Mark Twain
Image
A group of men in evening clothes looks like a flock of crows, and is just about as inspiring.
Mark Twain
Image
Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy.
Mark Twain
Image
In the South the war is what A.D. is elsewhere they date from it.
Mark Twain
Image
This autobiography of mine is a mirror, and I am looking at myself in it all the time. Incidentally I notice the people that pass along at my back - I get glimpses of them in the mirror - and whenever they say or do anything that can help advertise me and flatter me and raise me in my own estimation, I set these things down in my autobiography.
Mark Twain
Image
Is a person's public and private opinion the same? It is thought there have been instances.
Mark Twain
Image
Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident the only earthly certainty is oblivion.
Mark Twain
Image
In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
Mark Twain
Image
Are you so unobservant as not to have found out that sanity and happiness are an impossible combination?
Mark Twain
Image
Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
Mark Twain
Image
We can't always have the beautiful aspect of things. Let us make the most of our sights that are beautiful and let the others go
Mark Twain
Image
when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
Mark Twain
Image
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
Mark Twain
Image
The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
Mark Twain
Image
I said nothing of the sort.
Mark Twain
Image
Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.
Mark Twain
Image
There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
Mark Twain