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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Excite
Ill
Able
Wells
Well
Enough
Undertaker

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A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
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Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
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To stand still is to fall behind.
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To be great, truly great, you have to be the kind of person who makes the others around you great.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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Nothing so focuses the mind as the prospect of being hanged.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on.
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Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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Be good and you will be lonely.
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Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.
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Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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If I can capture truth in its simplest form, beauty will follow like a sledgehammer.
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