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Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Friends
Hate
May
Love
Enemies
Private
Enemy
Public

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How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
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Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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Never argue with people who buy ink by the gallon.
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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
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Be good and you will be lonely.
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Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent then he would have eaten the serpent.
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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I never felt so fervently thankful, so soothed, so tranquil, so filled with the blessed peace, as I did yesterday when I learned that Michael Angelo was dead.
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The work that is really a man's own work is play and not work at all.
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The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.
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Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
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Continuous improvement is better than delayed perfection.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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Always obey your parents - when they are present.
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