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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Time
Favour
Pays
Compliment
Ass
None
Pay
Asks
Many
Asses

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Tough times teach trust.
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One must travel, to learn.
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The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct.
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I like Joan of Arc best of all my books and it is the best I know it perfectly well.
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It is better to be a young June-bug than an old bird of paradise.
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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When congress is in session no American is safe.
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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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The secret of success is making your vocation your vacation.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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My own luck has been curious all my literary life I never could tell a lie that anyone would doubt, nor a truth that anybody would believe.
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session.
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In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.
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We all like to see people sea-sick when we are not ourselves.
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