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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Compliment
Ass
None
Pay
Asks
Many
Asses
Time
Favour
Pays

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By trampling upon the helpless abroad with unchecked surveillance, Americans have learned, by a natural process, to endure with apathy the like at home.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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There ain't anything that is so interesting to look at as a place that a book has talked about.
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I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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I heard a Californian student in Heidelberg say, in one of his calmest moods, that he would rather decline two drinks than one German adjective.
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The solution to our water problems is more rain.
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The southerner talks music.
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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It is your human environment that makes climate
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
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Whenever the human race assembles to a number exceeding four, it cannot stand free speech.
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There is nothing so annoying as a good example!!
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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All human rules are more or less idiotic.
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I knew a man who grabbed a cat by the tail and learned forty percent more about cats than the man who didn't.
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