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A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Probably
Thing
Fatiguing
World
Banquet
Ditch
Banquets
Weariness
Digging
Except

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We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon.
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If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
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If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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And so when I couldn't stand it no longer, I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead again, and was free and satisfied.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth.
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You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
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It is curious and interesting to notice what an attraction a fussy, mincing, nickel-plated word has for you.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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In writing, I shall always confine myself strictly to the truth, except when it is attended with inconvenience.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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