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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil half the results of an evil intention are good.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Intentions
Intention
Results
Half
Evil
Good

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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment - in a word, Circumstance, and against these bonds the strongest of us struggle in vain.
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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The test of any good fiction is that you should care something for the characters the good to succeed, the bad to fail. The trouble with most fiction is that you want them all to land in hell, together, as quickly as possible.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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If the world comes to an end, I want to be in Cincinnati. Everything comes there ten years later.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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Few things are more irritating than when someone who is wrong is also very effective in making his point.
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Don't dream your life, but live your dream
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I said nothing of the sort.
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American.
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If you have to swallow a frog, don't stare at it too long.
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We Americans worship the almighty dollar! Well, it is a worthier god than Heredity Privilege.
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