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Never waste a lie you never know when you may need it.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Never
Waste
Lying
May
Need
Needs
More quotes by Mark Twain
My land, the power of training! Of influence! Of education! It can bring a body up to believe anything.
Mark Twain
I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
If I were going to construct a God I would furnish him with some ways and qualities and characteristics which the Present One lacks... He would spend some of His eternities in trying to forgive Himself for making man unhappy when He could have made him happy with the same effort and He would spend the rest of them in studying astronomy.
Mark Twain
The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
Mark Twain
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
Mark Twain
Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.
Mark Twain
The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
Mark Twain
Benefit of clergy: Half-rate on the railroad.
Mark Twain
And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
Mark Twain
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
Mark Twain
Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
Mark Twain
Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel.
Mark Twain
All our acts, reasoned and unreasoned, are selfish
Mark Twain
An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
Mark Twain
....try the mustard, - a man can't know what turnips are in perfection without mustard.
Mark Twain
I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
Mark Twain
I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
Mark Twain
France has usually been governed by prostitutes
Mark Twain
The public is the only critic whose judgment is worth anything at all.
Mark Twain