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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Fault
Motive
Acknowledge
Faults
Willing
Estrangement
Found
Acquaintances
Agreeable
Acquaintance

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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
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...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'
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Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
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If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the cannon is empty.
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The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
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Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.
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Names are not always what they seem.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths
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Give a man a reputation as an early riser and he can sleep 'til noon.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
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The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
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You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.
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I should be sorry to think it was the publishers themselves they got up this entire little flutter to enable them to unload a book that was taking too much room in their cellars, but you can never tell what a publisher will do. I have been one myself.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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