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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Testify
Denies
Deny
Nobody
Challenges
Land
Maybe
Free

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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
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Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July and as a rule they don't know what happened on either occasion.
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
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Don't wait the time is never just right.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of 'The Adventures of Tom Sawyer,' but that ain't no matter. That book was made by a Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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Life does not consist mainly - or even largely - of facts and happenings.
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Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought.
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It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed.
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How easy it is to make people believe a lie, and [how] hard it is to undo that work again!
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Where every man in a state has a vote, brutal laws are impossible.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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