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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Seasickness
Sick
Afraid
Dies
Firsts
First
More quotes by Mark Twain
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
Mark Twain
It used to be a good hotel, but that proves nothing - I used to be a good boy.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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Love is madness, if thwarted it develops fast.
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Every citizen of the republic ought to consider himself an unofficial policeman, and keep unsalaried watch and ward over the laws and their execution.
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
Mark Twain
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
Mark Twain
All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
Mark Twain
Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption.
Mark Twain
Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
Mark Twain
Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
Mark Twain
Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.
Mark Twain
Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with.
Mark Twain
The reason why truth is so much stranger than fiction is that there is no requirement for it to be consistent.
Mark Twain
Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
Mark Twain
Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
Mark Twain
