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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Care
Country
Extraneous
Real
Substantial
Thing
Loyal
Institutions
Eternal
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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We are always too busy for our children we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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Whenever a copyright law is to be made or altered, then the idiots assemble.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
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I have found out that there ain't no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.
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Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would often apply with justice and force: There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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Nothing is made in vain, but the fly came near it.
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
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It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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...there isn't often anything in Wagner opera that one would call by such a violent name as acting.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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Eating and sleeping are the only activities that should be allowed to interrupt a man's enjoyment of his cigar.
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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